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HER HAIR, HER SMOKE, HER DREAMS.

How to Support a Roleplayer (and Why Confessions Are Shitty)

agamemnoncrying:

We’ve all done it—gone to a confession blog (or even our own) and written about why somebody was your favourite portrayal of some canon character, or why a blog was your favourite partner, or even “(URL) is the best (character/role)!”

At first glance, the point of this practice is to praise the people you feature. That’s sweet, and it gives them a very nice, temporary sense of reward. However, what about all the other times your beloved friend sees one of these about somebody else and feels a little bad? How about all the people that see these and wonder if their playing is missing something?

In the end, promoting favourites contributes to this idea that we as a community hold people to certain standards, that there is a singular way of roleplaying or portraying a certain character that deserves more reward, and above all, that even though we’re here to have fun, we’re still being judged by our preferences and skill level. I don’t know about you, but whenever someone does a confession praising me, I feel a little bit obligated to live up to what they expect; above all, I feel bad for every other person who also portrays this character and who feels as if they’re lacking something.

So that’s why I’m writing this. This is a guide, from a Tumblr RP vet, on how to encourage, support, and love on a roleplayer without putting them under strain or making them, or anyone else, feel guilty.

1) Send them stuff

Come on, guys—we’re all roleplayers. We know just how frustrating it is to reblog a meme and get nothing in our askbox. This reblog karma thing just isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Now ask yourself—“Someone made me a confession, but still I’m getting nothing to indicate that anyone wants to play with me… Do I really feel appreciated?” 

The answer is easy—no. The best way to make anyone feel loved is to actively love on them and engage with them. Even if you’re shy, sending a symbol isn’t hard. If a meme is going around that says “send me (symbol) if you like my portrayal,” even if they didn’t reblog it—hell, send them one. It might make their day. Maybe they didn’t reblog it because they were afraid they wouldn’t get any. 

You don’t have to identify yourself. Copy+pasting some questions from memes and sending it on anon can give them great prompts to answer and some mystery along with it. Answering questions is fun. If they post a meme with “Send me (symbol) for a headcanon!” by all means, send it! People love writing headcanons. It takes three seconds of your day and might just make theirs.

2) Reply to their opens

This one requires more time and work on your part, given that it’s a long open post. You don’t have to do this in order to love on someone, because let’s be honest, being told you have to reply to something is the biggest RP turn-off in the history of RP. 

But if you feel the urge to do it, or an idea—at least ask them how they like your idea. They don’t know that you’re admiring their post if you don’t say something.

3) Like things

Let’s be honest, it’s a little awkward when people like your random RPs. So like their OOC when it pops up. No matter how many people read it, if no one acknowledges it, the poster thinks they’re being ignored. 

It’s not hard to click the heart or hit the letter L on your keyboard. You can unlike it later, for the sake of keeping your likes organised. It’s not difficult. I think this is the most effective, easiest way to let someone know you’re paying attention. It means a lot.

4) Make them a promo

If you have time to put their name on a picture and say they’re your favourite, you have time to put their name on a picture and post it with the link to their blog. This is a promo. (Do it with their permission, of course—not everyone wants to be promoted, another reason that confessions can be a bad idea.)

This is how to do a post all about them meant to support them in a practical way. In the end, “___ is MY favourite” comes off as about you and your opinion, whatever the roleplayer you feature thinks about it. So make them a banner instead of a confession. Now they don’t have to feel bad for anyone else who sees it.

5) Post a shoutout

There are blogs dedicated to this—where you’re not supposed to post your favourite, but rather to praise what they do and especially to add a snippet about them OOC. I’ve done lots of shoutouts, and let me tell you, people receive them with far more pleasure if it’s focused on what a pleasant, creative person they are than what a cool roleplayer they make. 

6) Read their rules

This sounds weird at first. But let me tell you—nothing is more of a relief than a person who actually reads your blog’s rules, so you aren’t in the awkward position of ignoring them or just having to say “Look, I don’t do…” It’s not hard. 

If they’re a selective blog, or mutual-only, send them OOC stuff to say hi. Don’t send them memes that require IC response if their rules state that that’s for mutuals only. And don’t toss a fit if they politely tell you that their preferences lie elsewhere, because let’s be honest, we all have preferences. 

Love yesterday goes nowhere if you use it to force people into obligation to play with you, or if, above all, you don’t respect them enough to read and follow their guidelines, which are meant to allow them the most pleasant Tumblr experience possible.

7) Make sure to treat them like a person, not a roleplayer

The shittiest feeling in RP is when someone tramps over your personal feelings in order to play with your muse or try to wrestle them into a position they want. Don’t push for replies if a person is stressed out (in fact, don’t ever push for replies, no matter how much you like them). A mun is not a muse machine. They are not a proxy for their character. They are a person who is after fun just like you—and who has a real life and real life emotions. Too many people have been driven away from roleplay because they weren’t appreciated as a person, instead taken for granted for the sake of their muse. 

Being treated like a human behind the muse is a major compliment, and shows that you care—about more than their writing.

You don’t have to do every one of these, although the last two are really a requirement rather than a suggestion. As for the rest? Do what feels more natural. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone—they’re probably just as terrified of you, after all. We’re not all social butterflies, and no one expects us to be. 

For the sake of your entire community, yourself, and the people you value here—please, take some time to share your love, but do it in a way that doesn’t promote competition and disappointment.