i. a. r. h. c. ART CRED

HER HAIR, HER SMOKE, HER DREAMS.

firedupfiredragon:
""I am in love with you— there, I said it.""

extollvd-blog:

Send my muse “I am in love with you— there, I said it.” for their reaction.

     closed eyes, closed fists, closed mind.

     in her weakened state, ‘closed’ was the best word to describe her.

     all she could see was the ceiling of an empty guild hall, and the failure she had all too abruptly faced. it was a shock - despite all the warnings, despite all the signs, it hit her as hard as anything. a failure in love. and it was all her fault.

     thinking of the first indication (doubt, irritation, confusion—-), it rained in her heart. thinking of the second (average pulse, a lack of excitement), it rained against the windows. thinking of the last (anger), it rained in her eyes. this goal she’d been chasing for years had ended up as nothing. she had feared so much that it would be him to put an end to it, and yet—-

     she fell out of love, just as he had fell in.

     she had taken note of another’s presence the moment he arrived; how could she not, with him barging in like that? he had seemed jovial upon his entrance, obviously relieved to be back from whatever mission he had chosen nearly a week ago. however, noticing her lying down upon one of the benches in the hall, empty despite it being only ten o’clock, his demeanour sobered.

     he hadn’t left her side in an hour.

     no words had been exchanged -  a rare feat for him, and she held no complaints. the warmth was comforting in contrast to the cold she had suffered. it showed a friend, reaching out a hand. that is, until he spoke, and suddenly the sensation held an entirely different connotation.

     sometimes, she really hated love. it hurt people. it hurt her, and so many others. it would be the force to bring the rain back, constantly pounding against her figure, drowning her more and more until she wouldn’t be able to stand it. it was already there, stabbing her in the chest with it’s well meaning words and good intentions but, oh, it was not good. love was the only thing that could help her breathe. she was underwater, and her oxygen was gone.

     ’I’m-’

     _(not)

     ’-in love with you. There, I said it.’

     she took a deep breath.

     the aforementioned warmth swiftly went from being a vague sensation stemming from just his presence to a burning heat as he shuffled closer, his hand moving to hold hers. it should hurt, she knew. the flames should burn. instead, it just spread, connecting to the fierce, embarrassed heat her visage was producing.

     stop it. retreating from his grip, wide eyes shut once again, expression pained. why was this happening to her? so quickly, her mind, her thoughts were changing - too quickly. change was such a curse. she didn’t want to look at him, to see whatever expression he could be making, to know what her simple actions could do to him. shifting her position, lying on her side, facing away - she was running. how did she always end up running? she knew she could love again, but it wouldn’t be right to hurt him; a love had only just ended for her and look where she was. drowning.

     what a mess of contradictions she had become; ‘if you have love in your life, you must keep living’? then what did she have to love for?

“Natsu-san… not right now, please…
          please, leave…”